Band-aids Can't Cure Alzheimer's...

Band-aids are a big part of childhood, aren’t they?  There was a big box of them prominently located in our kitchen cabinet next to the garage door where they could be easily reached for those scrapes and cuts that we encountered almost every day of our very active lives.  Still vivid in my memory is the picture of my sister perched atop the red metal step stool in the corner of the kitchen, tears rolling down her cheeks, while my mother spoke soothing words to her as she placed a dap of ointment on the bandage and wrapped it around my sister’s outstretched finger.  The tears were wiped away and a kiss planted on the top of her head and off we went again on our next backyard adventure.        

The older we got, the bigger the bandages needed to be – and sometimes a brown adhesive strip was simply not sufficient for the injury, my broken collarbone, as an example.  That injury took a huge sausage roll-shaped cotton pad twisted into the shape of a figure eight to hold my broken bones in place until they mended.  The time I ran across the basketball court and smacked my head into a teammate’s brow required many stitches and a wrap that encircled my forehead like a mummy.   

For some of our injuries, there were no bandages large enough or flexible enough to get at all the places they were intended to mend.  Louisa had an accident on the slip-and-slide and suffered a concussion.  The only bandage that brought about healing for her head was rest, a difficult prescription for an active eight-year-old.  Then, of course, were the broken hearts when Mike or Larry forgot about a dinner date or broke up with one of us.  Teen crushes required much more than ointment on a piece of cotton padding to overcome.   Mom was always there with a sympathizing ear and a hug.  Her encouraging words that the “right boy was out there somewhere” became the bandage that protected our wounds until they healed.   

We have all suffered many scrapes and bumps along the way since then – broken bones, broken hearts, broken dreams – but, the most difficult adversity of them all was when Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and we became her caregivers.  Large or small, no amount of bandages in the kitchen cabinet would cover the wounds we were dealt quite innocently and unintentionally at the hand of the one who had once cared for us.  

* * *

Band-aids cannot cure Alzheimer’s, but somehow the thought of a protective covering eases the pain just a bit and makes the wounds seem more bearable.  Caregivers suffer so much in giving themselves over completely to the care of someone that once loved them unconditionally.  Caregivers need an endless supply of band-aids in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes they appear in the form of a friend to talk to, a tip that helps calm a parent’s fears, or an extra hand to help with the daily chores.       

* * *

“A Band-aid for the Caregiver” is dedicated to all those families who journey with memory loss in their lives and the sharing of hope and joy and new possibilities.  In each difficult moment there lies an opportunity for love.

Journey with courage,
Elaine  

Author of…  “Conversations with Nora: A Family’s Journey With Alzheimer’s”

Nominated for a 2013 Pulitzer Prize, the author's first novel "Conversations with Nora: A Family’s Journey with Alzheimer’s" follows the journey of two sisters, Allison and Louisa, as they each struggle to understand the grip of Alzheimer's on their family. The novel, inspired by a true story, takes the reader from the sisters' first realization that something is wrong with Mother; through her agonizing denial and efforts to thwart the daughters' attempts to care for her; and then plunges the reader along with the entire family into the dark and confusing maze of dementia. The path to finding a place where Mother will be secure and can feel at home is filled with many obstacles, not the least of which are her own fight for independence and a medical system that seems unwilling to help them. Told through the conversations between the eldest daughter Allison and her friend Nora, the healing power of love and caring takes on fresh meaning.  Nora's supportive, patient, and nonjudgmental presence provides a safe place for Allison to move through a raw and painful reality toward healing.

Available in Paperback and Kindle

Amazon.com