It was Mom’s daily routine at 4:00 o’clock to walk down to the mailbox to pick up her mail. The boxes were clustered together on the sidewalk four houses away. As my sister and I watched out of the corner of our eyes, she donned a coat, scarf and gloves, put her sunshades on over her glasses, grabbed a garbage bag and headed out the front door pushing her walker ahead of her.
Louisa and I had arrived at Mom’s house in January to help her adjust to a new lifestyle now that she had been diagnosed with dementia. We encouraged her to go about her usual routines as much as possible, only occasionally offering ideas and advice on how to make things easier. Of course, it all fell on deaf ears as she repeatedly denied that anything was wrong with her memory and she set about “proving” to us that she was in complete control of her life.
The trip to the mailbox disproved this belief, however, as she turned right instead of left. That would be an easy error for anyone to make who was engrossed in reading their mail and absent-mindedly turn the wrong way, but Mom never realized that she was going in the wrong direction until she stopped to look around and realized she did not know her way home. I stood in the window of her little cottage and watched her turn one way and then another searching for a familiar front porch lined with marigolds and kolanches. Perhaps it was mean of me to just let her struggle and finally deciding that this was the moment to interfere, I pushed open the glass front door to go to her rescue. One of the nosy neighbor ladies beat me to it, though, and as Mom began to hesitantly cross the street heading away from the cottage, Mrs. Brody caught up to her.
In spite of her nosiness, Mrs. Brody was a good neighbor and had apparently guided Mom home several times before. They slowly began walking back up the sidewalk engaged in an animated conversation the whole way. Mom stopped many times to look around and shake her head before finally reaching her own door just four houses away from the mailboxes.
* * *
The majority of individuals with Alzheimer’s will wander and become lost. Wandering can happen during any stage of dementia and there are warning signs that a caregiver can watch for. The Alzheimer’s Association provides this list of behaviors to look for.
· Returning from a walk or drive later than expected.
· Attempting to fulfill former obligations, such as going to work.
· Wanting to “go home,” even when at home.
· Is restless, paces or makes repetitive movements.
· Has difficulty locating familiar places like the bathroom or bedroom.
· Asks the whereabouts of current or past friends and family.
· Acts as if doing a hobby or chore, but nothing gets done (e.g., moves around pots and dirt without actually planting anything.
* * *
A Bandaid for the Caregiver is dedicated to all those families who journey with memory loss in their lives and the sharing of hope and joy and new possibilities. In each difficult moment there lies an opportunity for love.
Journey with courage,
Elaine
Journey with courage,
Elaine
"Conversations with Nora: A Family's Journey with Alzheimer's"
THE BANDAID BOX…
STAYING ACTIVE…
THE BANDAID BOX…
Look on wandering as a form of communication. Dad may be looking for someone or something. He may be hungry in search of food or need to go to the bathroom. Listen and observe and calmly reassure Dad. Paying attention and responding positively to his small signs of distress can be a source of strength for you both. Sometimes strength comes in the small things of life.
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997)
STAYING ACTIVE…
Establishing a routine of daily activities like going to the mailbox can provide structure for Dad when he shows signs of wandering. Plan activities for the time of day when he seems most anxious, agitated or restless. Limit activities to venues that are less busy and crowded. The mall, movie theatre, or grocery store may be overwhelming. Instead, choose places like a quiet park for a picnic or a library to select the next book to read together.
Activities do not always have to be as elaborate as a trip away. Folding the clothes or putting out placemats for dinner can be enough to keep the mind and body happily occupied. Mom might enjoy baking a cake to share with a friend.
If Mom becomes disoriented in the house, make signs with descriptive pictures and words on them to place on the doors. Encourage her to explore those rooms as often as she wishes.
TREAT YOURSELF…
Make a dinner or lunch date just for you and your spouse or a friend. Get a sitter for Mom and enjoy yourself! Leave the planning up to your date and relax without any responsibilities for at least an hour or two.
Gentle Reminder:
You are a caregiver. Hold back just a small amount of caring to give to yourself!
IN THE NEWS…
Silver Alerts Help Find Missing Seniors
A GPS-Enabled Shoe to Track Wandering Alzheimer’s Patients
SAFETY TIPS…
Preparations should be made in every room of the house to assure that when Dad goes exploring, the rooms will be free of hazards. For those rooms you would prefer he not explore, put a childproof doorknob cover on it. Place child safety locks on cabinet containing harmful items such as detergents or knives. Make sure that throw rugs and extension cords are firmly secured under foot. Install night lights in every room. Put up gates at stairwells to prevent falls. Caution should be made that the gates are tall enough not to create a hazard of tripping up and over the gate. Pressure sensitive mats can be placed at exits. Bells can be placed on doors to alert you of Dad’s location in his tour of the rooms.
If wandering is a frequent occurrence for Mom, you might want to have her wear a GPS device that can send alerts about her location. In the terrible event that Mom should wander away from home or be separated from you while on an outing, the GPS device can help you become reunited more quickly. Be prepared for such an occasion with cards made up with her picture, physical description and name, address and your phone number. You can hand out this information quickly to neighbors and friends, as well as local authorities.
ABOUT ALZHEIMER’S…
Close to 60% of patients with Alzheimer’s will become confused and wander off, becoming lost and in physical and emotional danger. If not found within 24 hours, as many as half of them may die from dehydration, exposure, lack of medication, or injured. Because paranoia is a common dimension of the disease, the individual may actually hide from their loved ones, making location very difficult.
Some patients experience a form of wandering called “sundowning” where they become most active at night. Sleeplessness and night terrors keep these individuals actively seeking ways to keep their minds and bodies busy, often re-enacting activities they may have done when their children were small or regularly went in to work. Sundowning behavior is particularly hard on caregivers who must find the energy to keep up with them every night and look after them in the daytime, as well.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/14/nyregion/14cover.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
No comments:
Post a Comment